Retreat Life & Reflection
I bought a beautiful rug recently. It arrived first. The pad came days later.
In the meantime, I laid the rug anyway. It looked gorgeous. But something felt off. It shifted underfoot and didn’t quite lie flat as it should.
When the pad finally arrived, I laid it myself. Slid the rug back into place on top of it and stood on it.
The difference was immediate.
Then I got curious (it’s the researcher in me!) and started reading about what a rug pad actually does. It prevents slipping and bunching. It protects the floor underneath from scratches and damage. It absorbs impact so the rug lasts longer. It adds cushion. It reduces noise. It keeps everything above it stable and secure.
I read that and thought — that’s my sisters. That’s my circle.
I have a core group of women, most of them seasoned entrepreneurs, who have been exactly that for me in this season. Not cheerleaders, though they cheer. Not advisors, though they advise. Something more foundational than that. They are the thing underneath me that keeps me from slipping when the ground gets uncertain.
What makes them irreplaceable is that they know. I don’t have to explain the fear that lives alongside the vision. I don’t have to translate the exhaustion that comes from building something from nothing. For people who haven’t walked this road, the entrepreneurial journey is abstract. For these women, it is Tuesday.
They keep me from slipping.
When I am agitated and my initial instincts are telling me to set the whole situation on fire, my sisters pull me back from the edge. Not by dismissing what I feel, but by helping me see past it. What feels satisfying in the moment can have long-term consequences that maybe I’m too heated to see clearly. They help me bring the heat down so I don’t make professional choices that move me backwards. My circle provides me with steady, level-headed presence in those moments. They listen. They affirm. Then they gently help me remove the emotional weight and look at the decision with a clear head.
They protect me from damage.
I have sisters who stand up for me in rooms I’m not in. When someone speaks ill of me or my work, they don’t stay quiet. They say, I know her. I know the quality of her work. I know her values and her heart. Your critique is damaging and flawed. Fall back. That’s not just loyalty. That’s protection with integrity. And it means I can keep doing the work without constantly looking over my shoulder.
They absorb the impact.
Sometimes you don’t need a solution. You need someone who will scream with you. I have a circle who will scream with me, and sometimes scream louder than me. They will say out loud the things I won’t dare say, giving me permission to speak them without guilt. They affirm that my frustration is legitimate. They don’t try to fix it before I’ve had a chance to feel it. That’s cushion. That’s impact absorbed.
They reduce the noise.
When everything is loud, when my head and heart are both overwhelmed, my circle pulls me into calm. I have a prayer partner who will send me a voice-recorded prayer, speaking over every single thing on my heart. Then we find reasons to laugh. The prayers and the laughter are medicine. And sometimes we go to the spa. We pour it all out, and then we breathe. And in that quiet, I can finally hear what comes next.
Every leader needs a rug pad. Not a fan club. Not a network. A small, specific circle of people who know the weight of what you’re carrying because they’re carrying something similar. People whose support is so solid underneath you that you can be brave on top of it.
Going it alone isn’t a strength. It’s a slow leak. And eventually, without something underneath you, even the most beautiful rug bunches, slips, and wears out before its time.
You were not meant to lead without support. Find your rug pad.
That’s what the right support does. It doesn’t just hold you up. It reveals you to yourself.
What does your circle look like, and does it have what you need to go the distance?
